the customer is always right — Articles

In my previous post I said that the customer is not always right when it comes to their relationship with alcohol. Sometimes we as bartenders have to put their best interests in front of their actual desires, especially when it comes to their safety and the safety of those around them. After reading it (if you haven’t, seriously go back and read it) you might be thinking, “Alright Dave, I will give you that point, the customer is always right, with the exception of when they need the bartender to act as their better judgement in terms of drinking too much. But outside of that one instance the customer is always right.” And I’d have to say I agree with you. The customer is always right…

…except, again, when they’re not. The customer is always right when it comes to the manner in which they want their restaurant experience to be exactly that a restaurant experience. They control the way in which their food and beverages are prepared, the timing by which they would like to order, the section in which they would prefer to sit, and many other aspects of their visit. They should never be shamed for ordering a muddled old fashioned, a steak extra-well done, a non-alcoholic drink while sitting at the bar, or any other service industry faux-pas. People are allowed to like what they like.

Customers also shouldn’t be made to feel bad for sitting at a table for longer than expected, or for tipping under twenty percent. These things are just part of the grind. Someone may tip us poorly or take up our section for too long, and that might make a normally profitable day less profitable, but there will be other days. Getting hung up on these things is a rookie mistake. As far as money is concerned, you have to look at your overall average not your day to day. Feeling anything more than a mild disappointment at a bad day will drive you crazy if you can’t find a way to let it roll off your back.

Where the guests preferences stop being meaningful is when their wants conflict with the culture of the bar more generally. Any bar or restaurant has a certain kind of broad identity, maybe it’s a sports bar, maybe its a fine-dining Italian restaurant, maybe it’s a pub that specializes in whiskey and dessert. Most times the broad identity of the bar is apparent in the name, the menu, and the décor, and most customers will be coming in and getting what they expect. There is a more narrow aspect of a bar’s identity, however, the unofficial rules of place, made up by the people who work there. It is in this space that the customer will sometimes further try to extend their personal preferences, and it is important that we as bartenders establish some boundaries.

To understand why these boundaries are important lets start with something small. When it comes to the ambiance of the the bar, the lighting or the music for instance, the personal preferences of the customer have no real bearing on the matter. If a customer asks me to change the music I will more than likely refuse even if I have it in my power to, and even if they suggest something I would like to hear.

If need be I’ll give an excuse like the music is chosen by my managers, or its preset company playlist. The reason for this is simple, if you take one request, you have to take them all. (See Figure 1) Setting the precedent that you will change the music allows for the customer to begin to have control of portions of the restaurant that they should’t have. And I can tell you from personal experience its these same customers that want other extras, the kind that start costing you money. Having small things like the radio or television be in the hands of the bartenders (or The House more generally) paves the way for more important rules.

Restaurants and bars have always been shared public spaces. That is why the term ‘bar' is often synonymous with words like inn, tavern, public house… etc. People from all walks of life will come into a bar and the mingling of all those people is something that the bartender has to keep in mind. The bartender has to enforce a narrow identity of the space that makes everyone feel comfortable and safe. And sometimes that tone, that identity, will clash with some of the customer’s wants.

In just the same way that the bartender has a moral responsibility to the customer to be their better judgment in terms of alcohol consumption, the bartender also has a moral responsibility to monitor customer interactions with each other and the space more broadly. As people drink they get a little loose. They may get louder, more volatile, more forward or touchy feely and we, as the people facilitating these changes, owe them, and more importantly the people around them, our efforts keeping everyones behavior comfortable.

The way we can do this is to have some rules in place that we can fall back on in the event of an uncomfortable interaction. One rule I have for any bar I work for is no one can buy a person (they did not walk in with) a drink without going through a few extra steps. Buying people drinks can be a random act of exuberance or camaraderie, but more often than not it is a way to force an interaction with someone who otherwise would not have wanted to have it. In this case it’s a predatory action wrapped up to look like kindness. I cannot tell you how many times a guy has come up to the bar and said, “I’ll take a beer, and… (scans the room for an attractive woman) and I want to buy whatever that girl is having.”

I can tell you, without any uncertainty, that these two are not waiting for you to buy them a drink.

During my years as a bartender I have come up with a few rules to navigate this situation. If someone would like to buy a stranger a drink they must first introduce themselves, ask the stranger if it would be okay to buy them a drink, ask if it would be okay if they kept the stranger company for the duration of the drink, and let the stranger know that they will be perfectly happy to leave the table should that person change their mind about the interaction half-way through. This is usually a thorough enough proviso to discourage the behavior, but if they go through with it, at least it shows some amount of good faith.

I’m sure that to some of you this sounds like overkill. I am also sure that this rule is not always necessary. There is every potentiality that someone might like a stranger to buy them a drink and strike up conversation. The fact of the matter is this rule makes people rethink imposing on others, and it also informs my patrons, whether they have the purest intentions or not, that the bartender is actively invested in the safety and interactions of their guests. Personally, I’d rather be know as a little overzealous in protecting my customers than not thorough enough. My bar space should be known as a place where people feel safe.

When you are behind the bar you have a real say in how the restaurant is run, this narrow identity of the bar. You have a certain amount of authority in setting the vibe of a place, and you owe it to your customers and to yourself to take that responsibility seriously. I’m not here to tell you how to run your bar, thats for you to figure out. All bars are different. For you it may not be a big deal changing the radio station and it may not be necessary to be as strict when it comes to people buying drinks. What is important is that you engage with the situations as they arrive, and when you do I have often found it is useful to have some guidelines already in place. So I suggest thinking up a few. That way when something comes up, you’ll know whether or not the customer is, in fact, always right.